Holiday Hangover: Fourteen Songs of Christmas Dispirit
As the Christmas season winds down, we can safely air some of our mixed feelings about the whole damn holiday thing.
For the rest of the list come visit Music Ruined My Life
The Ramones Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight)
Y’know this sounds a lot like another one of those Ramones punked-up early sixties classics but it’s a Joey original.
Key Line “Christmas ain’t the time for breaking each other’s hearts”
Tom Lehrer A Christmas Carol
Lehrer was releasing cutting social critiques on his own indie label before your heroes were even born.
Key line “Kill the turkeys ducks and chickens
Mix the punch, drag out he Dickens
even thought the prospect sickens
Brother, here we go again”
TV Smith Christmas, Bloody, Christmas
TV blasts the season’s greatest clichés with the power of a mighty tune.
Key line: “And landfills spew out plastic bags
From lorryloads of booze and fags
God, don’t you hate this time of year?”
Crudbump Fuck You If You Don’t Like Christmas
“Fuck you if you don’t like indie-electro-rap novelty songs”.
Key line: “Fuck you if you don’t like that Panama’s an isthmus”
Fear Fuck Christmas
While this anti-Xmas blast always makes such Grinchy lists, this live version below almost pulls the plug on the entire season.
Key Line “Don’t despair just because it’s Christmas”
John Prine Christmas in Prison
Prine’s lyrical genius is rarely bettered displayed.
Key line: “It was Christmas in prison and the food was real good
We had turkeys and pistols carved out of wood”
The Mr. T Experience Merry Fuckin’ Christmas
Thanks to Jon Von, Dr. Frank & co. for this unsentimental l’il stomper.
Key line “Thanks for the memories, thanks for the beer
Merry fuckin’ Christmas and happy New Year”
The Futureheads “Christmas Was Better in the 1980’s
Such a perfect sing-a-long, that it almost makes you forget the Buzzcocks’ warning that “Yesterday Never Comes”.
Key line “On Christmas day in the 80’s everyone used to sing hallelujah”
Merle Haggard If We Make it Through December
Hag’s song of cold, economic hardship trumps the dreadful arrangement.
Key line “I don’t mean to hate December, it’s meant to be a happy time of year”
The Pogues Fairytale of New York
This one seems well on its way to becoming a 21st century standard, like a new “Silent Night”.
Key Line “ You’re a bum, you’re a punk
You’re an old slut on junk”
